


after all

by cannibalism



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Racism, Angst, Assault, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Whump, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor Needs A Hug, Dark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I didnt get any sleep while writing this, M/M, More characters eventually, My First AO3 Post, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Assault, Verbal Abuse, Whump, my first post so pls be gentle, no beta we die like men, stayed up from 2 am to 8 am fuck my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 20:25:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15151148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannibalism/pseuds/cannibalism
Summary: Connor goes out late to fetch something from the store-and when he arrives back at home, three hours late, without the popcorn, Hank is concerned.





	after all

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ao3 post and I wrote it at an ungodly time pls dont rip into me lads 
> 
> chapter title is from after all by christine ebersole, I listened to it for almost the entire time I wrote this so its,,kinda inspired??

“Movie theater butter, Connor! Don’t fuckin’ forget!”  
Hank had yelled after the android as he donned his scarf and beanie. “Alright, Lieutenant!” Connor called back as he slipped out the front door, catching a glimpse of Sumo and Hank sitting on the couch together as he closed it behind himself again.

Connor took a moment to steady himself- Breathing out an unnecessary breath, briefly noticing the lack of any sort of condensation. With a sudden jolt, he began walking in the direction of the closest corner store. 

An old fashioned kind of place, it suited Hank’s own outdated air. It was open until an ungodly hour, thus, it was one of the only places in the area to purchase things quickly. Which was probably a contributing reason as to why the store had remained open for so long, despite the growing popularity of having groceries delivered.

Connor was jerked out of his musings as he realized he had, in his contemplation, walked the wrong way. Studying his surroundings, a dingy, snow-filled alley, devoid of any other beings, but bearing traces of thirium and human blood, the android found he was in a fairly dubious part of the neighborhood.

The detective’s brow furrowed as he turned on his heel, an uneasy feeling filling him. A bone-deep urge to get back to a familiar area drove him to walk speedily back towards the entrance of the alley, where he could see a street lamp shining golden light onto the sidewalk. 

Connor was cursing himself absently, wondering how he could have possibly gotten this far off track, when he heard crunching in the snow behind him. He froze, hand instinctively reaching to his side, only to find he had, of course, not brought his gun.  
What would he need it for, after all? He had only been walking to get popcorn for Hank.

The android turned to gaze behind himself, unnecessary breath catching as he took notice of a man, heavy set, about 6’1, stationed at the other end of the alley. Normally an unremarkable sight, except this man had a gun trained on Connor, and additionally, Connor was unarmed. And in unfamiliar territory, and utterly terrified.

“I want your money. All of it, and whatever else you have.”  
The stranger spoke, voice deep and gruff.  
Connor raised his arms in a show of submission, still facing the entrance to the alley. He desperately scanned his surroundings, looking for anything of value, but it appeared luck wasn’t on his side today.

“Of course,” Connor spoke with what he hoped was a steady tone, panic racing through him as he turned around to face the man. “I’ll give you anything you want,” he spoke again, looking up at the stranger’s face. “Just lower your gun, and I’ll give you anything you w-“

“Fuck! You’re a goddamn android!” The man exclaimed, bringing the gun up to aim at Connor’s face, an expression of outrage on his features. A quick, subconscious scan showed his name was Brett Douglas.  
“Bet you think you’re a fuckin’ human, don’t you, fuckin’ piece of shit.” Douglas called out, taking a step closer to Connor.  
Without thinking, the android took a quick step back.  
“Don’t fuckin’ move! Don’t you dare move, fuckin’ plastic bitch!” Douglas shouted, readjusting his grip on the pistol. 

Connor struggled to keep his expression neutral, a low whimper escaping him as he stared into the barrel of the human’s gun.  
“Please, I don’t want to die, I just want to get home. I’ll leave you alone, just let me go.” Connor said, voice just barely above a whisper. He flinched as the man waved his gun, “You’re not alive! You’re not a human! You’re a goddamn machine!”  
Douglas lowered his gun briefly, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “Get over here. Walk closer, c’mon.”

A surge of fear filled Connor quickly, before he took shaky steps toward the human. “Please,” he tried again. “Just let me go, I won’t bother you further-“  
“Shut the fuck up, android.” Douglas ground out, closing the distance between the two and grabbing the fabric of Connor’s coat, bringing the detective’s face closer to his own. “I want you to be fuckin’ quiet.” He released Connor, before raising his non-dominant hand to strike the android down.

Connor lay stunned for a second before noticing his opening, Connor rolled onto his back, then brought his leg up to kick Douglas’s legs out from beneath him. A flare of confidence filled him as he succeeded, a groan of pain escaping the human, accompanied by the crunch of snow as Douglas fell to the ground. Connor struggled to rise to his feet, cursing the deep snow in the alley. Then there was a loud crack, a deep stinging pain in his shoulder, and somehow he’s on his back in the snow again.

Connor cries out, squeezing his eyes shut. He brings a hand up to clutch his shoulder. “Oh, it fuckin’ hurts? Does it?” He hears Douglas taunting him, then he feels a sharp kick to his side, then another, and another. Distantly, as he curls up on himself, Connor thinks he’d rather be anywhere but here.  
“Please! P-please, I’m sorry, I just want to-“

“Shut the fuck up!” Douglas roars, punctuating each word with yet another kick.  
Briefly, Connor is left alone. Barely aware of anything outside of himself, he pants heavily, and focuses on the feeling of snow against his synthetic skin.

Douglas grabs the android by his hair, not paying attention to the fact he’d lost his beanie somewhere along the way. The human forced Connor onto his back, moving his hands down to the detective’s scarf, ripping it from his neck. Connor’s fear is momentarily replaced by confusion as the man forces open his pea coat, grunting as he successfully removes the article of clothing and tosses it away. 

Then he moves onto his shirt, a button up, and removes that, too.  
“Wh-what, what are you-“  
“Shut up, bitch!” Douglas yelled, grabbing the android by his hair and slamming his head back down, effectively stunning him into silence.  
The human is silent as he studies Connor’s bare chest, a faint grin on his face, a sadistic glint in his eyes.

Connor remains silent, terrified and still slightly dazed, as Douglas runs his hands down the android’s chest.  
“Y’know...for a piece of plastic, you’re so fuckin’ pretty...not my fault CyberLife made you robots so easy on the eyes, y’know? ‘S your fault for bein’ so goddamn perfect. Such a good boy. Good enough to fuck. I’ve always wanted to.”

The detective’s eyes widen, and Connor subconsciously pushes himself away from Douglas, exhaling sharply as his hands scramble for purchase, finding none on the icy asphalt.  
Douglas narrows his eyes, grasping Connor’s hair and slamming his head into the ground once more. “Stop fucking struggling! God fuckin’ damnit, you stupid piece of shit.”

Holding the android down by the neck with one hand, Douglas speedily undoes Connor’s pants with the other, pushing them down to his knee’s. He studies the android’s genital’s briefly, licking his lips. “So you do have a dick. Interesting,”  
Connor tries his hardest to ignore everything the man is doing, staring blankly up into the night sky, wondering if Hank is worried about him. Wondering if he’ll ever see Hank again.

His thoughts are cut off, as Douglas flips the detective around roughly, so his face is instead buried in the snow. If he could be numb, he would be. He feels tears well up in his eyes, as he continues staring blankly in front of himself.  
“You’re such a good boy,” Douglas purrs, voice devoid of any legitimate adoration or love, as he feels Connor’s ass. He is not gentle, sizing the android up as a butcher might inspect meat. 

When the human shoves a finger into him, Connor is caught off guard, yelping as Douglas adds another, and then another.  
He feels up his insides for a moment, as if checking to make sure nothing could seriously hurt him, before pulling his fingers back out. The intrusion left Connor feeling hollow, almost like the man had removed his very being along with the digits.

When Connor hears a zipper, he can practically feel his stress levels rise, raw anxiety filling him at the sound of skin on skin, and a low groan. He glances behind himself and sees Douglas holding his manhood in his hand, and whimpers audibly. As panic surges through his body, Connor lurches forward, scrabbling to get away. He can’t form coherent thought, only knows he has to get away, drawing thirium as he claws mindlessly at the ground.

“What the fuck did I say? Stop Fuckin’ moving, bitch!” There are hands in his hair, once again, jerking his head back so his neck is strained uncomfortably. “I’ll fuckin’ shoot you if you try to get away again, you plastic slut. Don’t test me.”

Connor freezes at Douglas’s words. He squeezes his eyes shut as he trembles, trying once more to focus on the snow, on Hank and Sumo, on anything other than what is happening right now.

He flinches when the human grips his waist with one hand, spreading his cheeks with the other. A tear rolls down Connor’s face as Douglas sheathes himself fully in the android’s body. He groans loudly, resting for a moment before jerking his hips forward once, twice, he quickly establishes a rhythm. “God, you’re fuckin’ tight. What a good boy you are, a good little slut. Fuck,”

Connor is limp, trying fruitlessly to ignore the unpleasant sensation that is being used as nothing more than a toy.  
It strikes him, that’s all he is viewed as. A toy. Good enough to fuck.  
Douglas isn’t gentle, his nails dig deeply into Connor’s synthetic skin, drawing thirium. He whispers obscenities to the android, tells him he’s a good boy. Good for fucking. 

The man’s pace is violent, but soon becomes erratic. His breath comes in hard pants before he thrusts once more, he leans down and bites the android’s shoulder, blunt teeth clamping down on his skin as he comes deep inside Connor.  
As he pulls out, the android absently thinks he should be relieved it’s over, but he’s only tired. Tired and empty.  
He lies on the ground, unmoving, as Douglas gathers his bearings. He barely registers the human kicking his side one last time, muttering something about him being “fuckin’ dead.”

After Douglas is gone, Connor thinks he lays in the snow for hours, feeling empty. Devoid of his sense of self.  
Hank crosses his mind, and he realizes the man is probably worried about him. The idea of facing Hank is terrifying, the thought of the Lieutenant finding out what happened fills him with a deep, endless feeling of dread.

But then he thinks of what the man would do if he lost Connor forever, and his mind is made up. He has to go back.  
When the android sits up, when he looks up at the sky, it seems unchanged. The same stars stare back at him, unconcerned. His suffering is meaningless in the eyes of whatever being exists beyond the stars, then. RA9, or God, or whomever. They don’t care about him.

He collects his clothing from around the alley, suddenly afraid of someone finding him there without anything on. He ignores the fluid leaking from within him as he pulls up his pants, ignores the bite mark on his shoulder as he replaces his shirt. He readjusts his appearance as much as he can, as if pretending nothing happened could make it so.

Briefly, as he stumbles out of the alley, he considers going to the corner store, to get Lieutenant Anderson’s popcorn, but after checking the pockets of his pea coat he finds himself without any money. Stealing his virginity wasn’t enough, it seemed.  
He isn’t caught up in his thoughts this time, as he walks back home. He doesn’t seem to think much at all. He wonders, offhandedly, if this is what shock feels like.

In the blink of an eye, Connor is in front of the door to Hank’s house, their house. He opens the front door, and slips back inside. He shushes Sumo, his eyes on the ground as he raises his hand to remove his coat, before deciding against it. The idea makes him queasy, somehow.

“Connor?”  
The android looks up, eyes wide, expression otherwise neutral. “Lieutenant,” he begins, hand reaching to his pocket, discovering that his coin was lost in the altercation as well.  
“Where the fuck have you been? It’s been three fucking hours! I’ve been worried sick!” Hank shouted at him, rising from the couch.

Connor flinched at the raised voice, hands resting awkwardly in front of his body.  
“Connor-kid, are you alright? You look like you were mugged!” Hank walks towards him, stepping over Sumo on his way over.  
“I assure you, I’m fine, Hank. It was nothing.” The android walks towards the kitchen, turning his back on Hank, to escape the enclosed space that is the entryway.

“Nothing? Fucking nothing? Don’t walk away from me!” The human reaches to grab Connor’s arm, an angry expression on his face, though his eyes betrayed his concern. Connor inhaled sharply, jerking his arm away from the lieutenant. “Don’t!”

The kitchen is silent, for a moment. Hank appears stunned, staring at the android, who, in turn, stares stubbornly at the floor.  
“Kid, shit, what happened?” Lieutenant Anderson breaks the silence, face softening. 

“It...” Connor hesitated, frowning, wanting badly to tell the Lieutenant, to let him help him. But he was so afraid to, at the same time, terrified of Hank thinking he was disgusting, casting him out.  
Another moment passes, while Connor weighs his options, before continuing, voice soft, “I was approached by a man, he took my money and ran.”

Hank is unconvinced, it seems, eyebrows furrowing as he considers what he’s been told. “Okay, kid.” He finally responds. He eyes Connor, still suspicious, but decides to let it go. “Alright. Let’s get to bed, it’s almost three in the goddamn morning.”  
Connor nods once. “If you don’t need one, I require a shower. I...” He hesitated, briefly. “I fell in something...unsavory, while attempting to get the money back.”

Hank frowns at him, and seems to consider Connor once more, but decides against challenging him. “Alright, Connor.”  
The android nods once more, and turns to walk to the restroom.  
“Hey, son?”  
The detective stops in his tracks, and turns back to face Lieutenant Anderson. “Yes?”

There is another moment of silence.  
“Money isn’t as important as your life, Connor, you know that?”

“...Yes, Hank. I understand.”  
“Get your shower, kid. Then go into standby, or whatever the fuck you tin cans do.”

“Yes, Hank.”

+

In the morning, Connor ‘wakes up’ with a jolt. The events of the previous night come back to him, and the urge to cry, or scream, or in someway express his emotions is strong. He lays in bed for some time, staring at the ceiling, struggling to suppress the conflicting feelings.

He rises from his bed, which previously belonged to Hank’s son, Cole, and turns to remake it. He doesn’t move while in standby, so he doesn’t really need to make it, but any semblance of control is a blessing. The room is tidy, meticulously clean. Thus, it doesn’t reflect it’s owner, a dirty piece of useless plastic. Tainted, no matter how hard he scrubbed his synthetic skin.

After finishing, he runs a brief diagnostic. Most scratches and other small injuries healed while he was in standby, but the 4 hours or so of repairs didn’t do much for anything more major. Meaning he still had a massive bite mark on his shoulder, a bullet hole in his other shoulder, and tearing in his rectum.  
He was gone now, but Douglas had still claimed his body.  
Connor shuddered as he recalled, in vivid detail, the feeling of being bit into, of Douglas coming deep inside him. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the memory to go away. It was over, it was time to get over it. It didn’t matter anyway, he was only an android. Good for fucking.

In the morning, Connor always tidied up the house, getting most everything clean. He fed Sumo, withholding his usual praise, shuddering at the words “Good Boy,” as they came out of his mouth. He shut up, placing the bowl down and moving on.  
Good for fucking.

He attempted to wake Hank at nine AM, and, unsurprised when the man stayed asleep, went back to cleaning until ten. He successfully woke the lieutenant this time,  
passively calling his name until Hank grumpily replied, swinging his legs off the side of the bed and sighing. “It’s only ten and I already want to go back to sleep.”

“Unwise, Hank.” Connor told him.  
“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up, kid.” Hank told him, stretching.

Connor froze at the words, flashes of memories, being kicked as he lay limp on the ground.  
‘Shut the fuck up!’ Douglas roared, punctuating each word with yet another kick.

“You alright, Connor?”  
The android realized he was trembling as he snapped out of it, he looked at Hank’s face, concerned, confused. “Yes, I’m fine.” He replied, face neutral, a perfect copy of his pre-deviant self.  
Hank frowned, eyebrows drawing together. “Whatever you say, son.”

Choosing to ignore Hank’s suspicion, Connor made a report instead. “I’ve made you bacon and eggs for breakfast, fed Sumo, and in general tidied up.” He said, voice devoid of emotion. “I left the laundry, as you expressed interest in doing it, Hank.” The lieutenant looked troubled. “Hey, Connor, we have to talk.”

Connor’s stress level’s spiked. “Of course, what about?”  
Hank scowled, expression changing quickly. “Don’t fuckin’ act dumb, Connor! Something’s up! You’re acting like a goddamn machine, and you obviously didn’t just get mugged!” The man shouted, standing up and pointing an accusatory finger at the android.

Connor frowned, not meeting Hank’s eyes. “I am a machine, Hank. I’m just good for-“ He caught himself, swiftly. If he told the lieutenant the truth he could be angry, throw him out. Connor could have avoided that whole scenario, it was his own fault. His own fault for being perfect. A good boy. Good for fucking.

Hank’s expression hardens. “You’re a fuckin’ machine, huh?” He took a step closer to Connor, who was frozen in place. “Just a fuckin’ machine?”

“Hank, I-“

“You’re more than a goddamn cellphone, Connor! You’re my fucking son!”

Once more, there is silence.  
Hank realizes, with a glance, that Connor is terrified. Cowering beneath the lieutenant’s gaze, shaking like a leaf.  
“Hey, Connor, I’m sorry,” Hank began, expression softening. “I’m so sorry. Let’s just sit on the couch and watch shit TV, okay?” He feels like hugging the kid, but gathers from how Connor is still curled in on himself that he wouldn’t welcome it. 

The android nodded. Once, twice, before following the man into the living room.  
“TV on,” Hank called, pulling a blanket off the back off the couch for Connor.  
The kid sat stiffly on the right side of the sofa. He’d look comfortable in his sweat pants and hand-me-down tee shirt if his spine wasn’t ramrod straight.  
Hank draped the quilt over Connor’s lap before he sat down a respectable distance away from him. The man patted the space between them and called Sumo over, petting the St Bernard and talking to him absently.  
“That’s right, Sumo. Good boy.”  
And that, was apparently a mistake.

Connor let out a strangled noise and scrambled to get out from underneath the quilt, to get free, to get away, he fell to the ground and there was snow and Douglas was yelling at him, shouting at him, distorted words he couldn’t make out. He backed himself into a corner. There was so much snow, so much fear he was practically drowning in it, and then Douglas touched his arm and he sobbed, pulling his arm away as if he’d been stung.  
“I-I can’t pl-lease I’m sorry, I’m not a good boy please please I d-don’t want to b-be perfect p-please,” 

And then he was enveloped by warmth and..That wasn’t right. That wasn’t right, where was the snow? Douglas never-  
“Connor,” Hank said, firmly. “Connor, I don’t know exactly what happened but it’s over.”

The android opened his eyes, tentatively, and was met with not the alley, or the night sky, but with Hank’s living room. Their living room. Hank was hugging him, and no one was hurting him.

The lieutenant pulled away, frowning again, but deeply concerned. “Kid, what happened?” He asked softly, looking the android in his face.  
Connor looked up at him, furrowing his brow. He weighed his options again, and figured Hank must’ve already pieced most of it together. He would gain nothing from lying.

“I...” He began, voice just as soft as when he was begging for his life. “I was walking to the corner store, last night.” He looked up at Hank, who nodded back at him, encouraging.  
“I...I didn’t get lost, I mostly knew where I was, but I had gone the wrong way. Down some...alley. it was full of snow.”  
Another nod.  
“I was about to go back, but...there was a man. He had a gun, and...he demanded I give him my money.”

Sumo padded up to the two, and curled up next to Connor, laying his big head on the kid’s lap.  
Connor gave him a ghost of a smile, petting the dog absently.  
“He...he told me, to come closer, and I did, he had a gun. I had to.” He glanced up at Hank, feeling the need to explain himself. 

“He...he knocked me down, and began kicking me.”  
Hank’s expression was mostly unreadable thus far, but darkened at the mention of violence. He nodded once again, prompting Connor to continue.  
“I tried to fight back, I did, but..he had a gun. And he shot me, once.” Upon seeing Hank’s murderous scowl, he added quickly, “In the shoulder, nonlethal. It doesn’t hurt much anymore.”  
The lieutenant looked incredulous, his eyes widened. “You’re still fucking injured?!”

Connor winced, nodding. “Yes..and I..I-I sustained more damage as well, would you like me to continue?”  
Though he still looked murderous, Hank nodded glumly. “Yeah, kid. Carry on.”  
Connor nodded again, petting Sumo’s back lightly. 

“Then he straddled me, and slammed my head into the ground. He...” Connor cleared his throat, looking down at the floor. “He began to remove my clothing.”  
Connor could hear Hank’s sharp inhale, and continues swiftly before he can say anything. “Once he had removed my coat and shirt, he...proceeded to compliment..me. H-he said, for a piece of plastic, I was pretty, and that it was CyberLife’s fault for making androids so easy on the eyes, that-“ he paused for air, tears stinging his eyes. “T-that it was my fault, for- for being so perfect. He said that I was- that I-I...” Hank looked broken, mouth agape. “That I was..a-a good b-boy...good enough t-to fuck.”

“You don’t have to keep going, Connor. If it’s too much.” Hank says to him, voice soft, quiet.  
“I need you to understand,” Connor whispers back, eyes focused on Sumo.  
He glanced up to see the lieutenant nod.  
The android takes a deep breath, steadying himself, before continuing, voice so quiet Hank could hardly make it out.

“He proceeded to use me for anal sex.” Connor stated, plainly. “He...he treated me like an object. And he bit my shoulder, as he ejaculated.”  
After a long pause, “Inside of me.”  
Hank expression was unreadable again, a blend of emotions Connor wasn’t able to identify. Minutes passed, and Connor grew increasingly paranoid as his partner remained silent. Then finally,  
“Thank you for telling me, Connor.”  
There is silence, contemplative and slightly strained.

“..Hank?” Connor whispered, after a while. He had stopped petting Sumo.  
“Yeah, kid?”  
“Can...I have a hug?” his voice reminds Hank of Cole, asking to sleep with him after a bad dream.  
“Yeah, son. Of course.” Hank replied, with the same voice he had used for Cole. He leaned towards the android, slowly, so he knew what he was doing, and embraced him, ignoring Sumo’s whine of annoyance when they both stopped paying attention to him. Focusing instead on warmth, and safety. Hank smiled as Connor slowly returned the hug, melting into his father’s arms.

“We’ll figure everything out tomorrow, Connor. I promise.”

“I know.”


End file.
